Sadness is a feeling - it's one of the many normal human emotions, or moods,
we all have. Sadness is the emotion people feel when they've lost something
important, or when they have been disappointed about something, or when
something sad has happened to them or to someone else. When they're lonely,
people often feel sad.
When you're sad, the world may seem dark and unfriendly. You might feel
like you have nothing to look forward to. The hurt deep inside may crush
your usually good mood.
Sadness makes you feel like crying, and sometimes the tears are hard
to stop. Crying often makes you feel better.
Sometimes when your mood is sad, you just feel like being alone for a
little while. Or you might want someone to comfort you or just keep you
company while you go through the sad feeling. Talking about what has made
you sad usually helps the sad feeling melt away.
When sadness starts to go away, it can feel like a heavy blanket is being
lifted from your shoulders.
When Is It Natural to Feel Sad?
Feeling sad every once in a while is natural. Maybe you didn't get something
you really wanted. Maybe you miss somebody. Maybe somebody you really
like doesn't want to be friends, and you don't feel so great about yourself.
Maybe an illness or condition gets in the way of doing some things you
want to do or makes you different from your friends. There are lots of
reasons that people feel sadness.
Most of the time, sadness is because of a loss or separation, a difficult
change or disappointment about something, or relationship problems.
Loss and Separation
This is the most common cause of sadness. It's a very sad thing to lose
someone or something that you care about. There are many kinds of loss.
The death of a relative, friend, or pet can bring weeks or months of sad
feelings. The kind of sadness you feel from the death of a loved one has
a special name - grief.
Other kinds of loss or separation from important people can also bring
sadness, like people close to you getting a divorce. Sometimes it is hard
to think straight because you cannot get your mind off your loss. Usually,
the load of sadness you carry after a loss will lighten over time, although
for a really big loss, there may always be a little bit of sadness left.
Changes
Changes that involve leaving something (or someone) behind, like moving
to a new town or changing schools and leaving old friends can make you
feel sad, too. The arrival of a new brother or sister may make you feel
sad even though everyone thinks you should be happy to have a new sibling.
Disappointments
Disappointments like losing a game you hoped to win, getting a poor grade,
or not being invited to a party can cause sadness. Sadness is a natural
reaction to those things. How sad a person feels is usually related to
how big or small the loss or disappointment is.
Relationships
Relationships bring happiness and fun most of the time. But tension or
conflict in important relationships, or relationships that break up, can
cause sadness, too. Many kids fight with family members, especially their
parents, in the struggle to grow up and gain independence.
People often feel sad when all is not right between them and their loved
ones, or when they get criticized or yelled at a lot. They fight about
things like money, clothing, haircuts, school, and friends. In school,
problems with teachers and grades may cause some sadness as well.
More Stuff That Makes Kids Sad
Other kids, both friends and enemies, can cause hurt feelings and sadness
through fighting, teasing, peer pressure, not giving you support, or leaving
you out of group activities. Feeling misunderstood by people close to
you can lead to feelings of sadness.
Sometimes with sadness, there are other feelings mixed in, too. When
you're sad, you might also feel angry or guilty. You might feel like blaming
others or blaming yourself. Some kids mistakenly think that sad events
like death, illness, or divorce are all their fault - but this isn't true.
Kids don't cause these things to happen.
When Is Sadness a Problem?
If a sad feeling goes on for too long, hurts too deeply, and makes it
hard for you to enjoy the good things about your life, it's called depression.
Here are some of the signs and symptoms of depression:
1.feeling empty or numb
2.feeling hopeless (like there's nothing to look forward to)
3.feeling guilty or worthless
4.feeling lonely or unloved
5.feeling irritable and annoyed a lot (every little thing gets on your
nerves)
6.feeling like things are not fun anymore
7.having trouble keeping your mind on schoolwork or homework or getting
bad grades
8.having trouble keeping your mind on things like reading or watching
TV or not remembering what a book or a TV show was about
9.having less energy and feeling tired all the time
10.sleeping too much or not enough
not eating enough and weight loss or eating too much and weight gain
11.thinking about death or thinking about suicide
12.spending less time with friends and more time alone
13.crying a lot, often for no reason
14.feeling restless (being unable to sit still or relax)
15.having certain body feelings, like lots of stomachaches, headaches,
or chest pain
16.People who have depression may not know it. Often it's a parent or
teacher who notices behavior changes like the ones in the list above.
Depression can run in families. Having a parent who gets depressed makes
it more likely for a kid to become depressed.
When children have depression it is usually coming from a long period
of sadness after the loss of someone really close, such as a parent; long-lasting
problems at home, including violence, illness, divorce, or alcohol or
drug use; child abuse or neglect; rape; and long-term illness, burns,
or accidents. But sometimes kids may be depressed for no apparent reason.
Getting Help
Kids, teens, and adults can get depression. It's very important for people
of any age who have depression to get help. When they do, they can get
better quickly. Sometimes treatment involves talking to someone who knows
all about depression. Sometimes medications can help depression heal.
Sometimes both of these things are used.
If you think you have depression or you just have sadness that simply
will not go away, it is important to talk to an adult about it: a parent,
relative, doctor, teacher, guidance counselor, coach, or close adult friend.
This person can help you find the right type of treatment. Many cities
also have mental health hotlines or suicide hotlines that are listed in
the phone book. There is always somebody to talk to when you are sad or
if you are depressed - somebody who can help.