WIT & WISDOM

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What's In A Name

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me.....I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't remember your name. I've thought and thought, but I can't recall it. Please tell me what your name is."

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just looked at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

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BREEDING BULL

A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the exhibits was of
breeding bulls. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign that said
"This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife poked her husband in the
ribs and said, "He mated 50 times last year."

They walked a little farther and saw another pen with a sign that said,
"This bull mated 120 times last year." The wife hit her husband and
said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."

They walked farther and a third pen had a bull with a sign saying,
"This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife got really excited and
said, "That's once a day. You really could learn something from this one."

The husband looked at her and said, "Go up and ask him if it was with
the same cow."
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TALKING FROG

A guy is 81 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat one
day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up."

He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming
when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up."

He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.

The man said, "Are you talking to me?"

The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up. Then, kiss me and
I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll then
give you more sexual pleasure that you ever could have dreamed of."

The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up
carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.

Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?
I said kiss me and I will give you sexual pleasures like you have never
had." He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Nah, at my
age I'd rather have a talking frog."