Why correct punctuation is necessary
To leave the correct perception: An English professor wrote the words, "a woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard, and directed the students to punctuate it correctly.

The men in the class wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing."

The women in the class wrote: "A woman: without her, man is nothing.

MEDICAL RECORDs
Some of the following were actual notes taken from patients' medical records. The physicians' names are not included to protect them from embarrassment. 1. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
2. Healthy-appearing, decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
3. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
4. She is numb from her toes down.
5. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
6. The skin was moist and dry.
7. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
8. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
9. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until
she got a divorce.
10. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
11. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
12. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
13. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
14. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
15. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

Dead Or Alive
A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner. The attorney asked, "Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the man's pulse?" The coroner said, "No."
The attorney then asked, "Did you listen for a heart beat?", and again the coroner said, "No."
Then the attorney asked, "Did you check for breathing?", and again the coroner said, "No."
"So when you signed the death certificate you had not taken any steps to make sure the man was dead, had you?"
The coroner, now tired of the brow beating said, "Well, let me put it this way.
The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk, but for all I know he could be out there practicing law somewhere."