A minister was seated next to a Marine on a flight to Atlanta. After
the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.

The Marine asked for Jack Daniels and coke, which was brought and
placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink.

He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by brazen
prostitutes than let liquor touch my lips."

The Marine handed his drink back to the flight attendant and said, "Me
too. I didn't know we had a choice."

ONE STEP at a TIME

Whether life hands you a bucket of stuff that you're anxious to get rid
of, or you find yourself sitting on life's sidelines but longing for
something more, the dilemma is the same.

How do we get the push we need to move on? It's that old approach
avoidance thing that keeps us stuck. Our hearts say, "Go," but our feet
won't move.

One foot firmly placed in what we know; the other poised to take us to
what we truly desire. It all seems so simple, intellectually. We want
something different, so why don't we just move forward with all the
gusto we can muster?

As a psychologist and coach specialising in life transitions, I have
seen two primary roadblocks to moving on: resistance and fear.

"Resistance," you are probably thinking, "what planet is she from? You
bet I'm resistant. Who wants to lose a mate, get fired, and get
diagnosed with hypertension?" Or perhaps you find yourself in some other
uncomfortable place.

So what's resistance got to do with moving on or drowning in
misfortune? Imagine you are standing by the ocean's edge. For balance, you dig
your heels into the sand.

But each new wave just knocks you down. Finally, the undertow drags you
out to sea. If you try swimming back against the tide, you'll exhaust
yourself and drown.

If you do as water safety experts tell us — swim parallel to shore
until the powerful current subsides — you'll likely survive. Therein lies
the first secret to moving on.

The next time you experience a loss, or face real disappointment, by
all means kick and scream and whine and weep, for while. You expected
things to go along as they had before. It's okay to ask, "Why me?" For a
while.

Then it's time to shift gears and start accepting what is. You may be
feeling that your situation is unfair, but in reality, it just is. So,
try to embrace any good that might be hidden in it.

Have you learned something? Did someone else benefit? Have you received
love and concern? Has it strengthened your faith? Once you have mourned
your loss, and acknowledged any good, shift your focus to what you want
next.

Facing forward, squaring your shoulders to the future, envision all
that your soul desires. Allow yourself to dream again, of how you want to
feel, who you want to share your life with, where you want to live,
what you want to contribute, and when you want to move on.

Then, you'll just have to get your feet to follow your heart. I
mentioned that the second common roadblock to moving on to what's best for you
next is fear... fear of failure, fear of success, fear of not being
loved, fear of not being enough.

Fear of the unknown —anything outside of our comfort zone — is
universally human. It is exquisitely normal to be afraid.

But, it need not be immobilising. For the courage to walk with your
fears in the direction of your dreams, you might have to change your mind.

Change all thoughts to empowering ones. Ask not "Why me?" Ask, "What
can I do to reach my goals?" Change any mindset of "I can't" to a mindset
of "I can."

Just as when you climbed the high diving board as a child, gave a first
speech in college, got married, or decided to be a parent, you will
find the strength to face any future challenges.

Change any overly independent thoughts such as "I'll handle this alone"
to "I have many sources of help, if I simply ask."

Shift any catastrophising thoughts such as "This is the worst thing
that could happen to me" to "I'm sure I'll survive this one."

TECH SUPPORT

Tech Support "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop"

Customer "OK"

Tech Support "Did you get the pop-up menu?"

Cust "No"

Tech Support "OK right-click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Cust "No"

Tech Support "OK Sir. Can you tell me what you've done up to now?"

Cust "Sure - you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click!'"

If you don't climb the mountain, you can't see the view.

It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

Ideas are funny things. They don't work unless you do.

Leisure is a beautiful garment, but it will not do for constant wear.

Never judge a man's actions until you know his motives.

There is nothing more terrifying than ignorance in action.

Some people never make a mistake, nor do they ever make anything else.

Faith with works is a force. Faith without works is a farce.

The only thing worse than a quitter is the man who is afraid to start.

Our words may hide our thoughts, but our actions will reveal them.

No farmer ever plowed a field by turning it over in his mind.

The right angle to approach a difficult problem is the "try-angle."

Age has nothing to do with learning new ways to be stupid.

Peace may cost as much as war, but it's a better buy.

True love doesn't consist of holding hands...it consists of holding
hearts.

Love is the only game that two can play and you'll either have two
winners or two losers.

Men fight for freedom and then start making laws to get rid of it.