LAUGH YOYR HEART OUT
Sitting In The Car
A policeman passes a parking lot around midnight and notices a couple in a parked car. He stops to investigate and sees a man in the driver's seat and a young lady in the backseat, quietly reading a magazine.
The officer knocks on the window and asks what's going on.
"Listening to music," the guy says.
Pointing toward the lady in the backseat, the officer asks, "And what's she doing?"
"Reading a magazine, of course."
"How old are you?" asks the officer.
"I'm 28."
"And how old is she?"
The guy looks at his watch and says, "Well…. in 11 minutes she'll be 18."
Kentucky "Fried" Chicken
The owner of a golf course in Kentucky was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Kentucky and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my earrings."

Viagra Advertisements

The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt-out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest. The theme: Viagra advertising slogans.
The rule was that they had to use past ad slogans, originally written for other products,
that captured the essence of Viagra. Slight variations were acceptable.
The top ten slogans in reverse priority were:
10. Viagra, Whaazzzz up!
9. Viagra, The quicker pecker upper.
8. Viagra, Like a rock!
7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.
6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.
5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.
4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
3. Viagra, home of the whopper!
2. Viagra, We bring good things to life!
And the unanimous number one slogan:
1. This is your winkie. This is your winkie on drugs.
New Side Effect Warning: Before using Viagra, purchase a Ring Toss Game. So, if your spouse develops a headache and you stay awake all night, you will have something to do.
Half-Tablet Problem: What happens if your doctor prescribes the other 3-day pill with instructions to take one-half a tablet? Do you get only 1.5 days or 50% of 3 days?