CUTTING IT THIN

A man goes to a barbershop and asks "How many ahead of me?" "Five." The
man leaves. He comes back tomorrow, and asks, "How many ahead of me."
"Four." The man leaves. He comes back the next day and asks, "How many
ahead of me?" "Six." The man leaves, and the barber says to another,
"Follow that man and tell me where he goes!" The man comes back and says,
"He goes to your house!"

THOSE ARE MY PRINCIPLES

Comedian Groucho Marx quipped, "Those are my principles. If you don't
like them, I have others."

You and I have principles. And we also have opinions. I have opinions
about what I think is right or wrong or good or bad. But they're only
opinions - I COULD be wrong! I won't try to build my life around my
opinions, but I WILL endeavor to stand by my principles.

A 15-year-old boy learned a valuable lesson about life principles. He
wrote a letter to "Dear Abby" about finding a woman's wallet that
contained $127 as well as the woman's identification. He hopped onto his
bicycle and peddled over to her house - about a mile away. He told her he
found her wallet and she gave him a big hug. She also gave him twenty
dollars.

That evening the boy told his parents about the event and his father
said, "I don't think you should have accepted $20 for doing what you
should have done. A person shouldn't be rewarded for being honest."

He pondered his father's statement and decided he would return the
money. He biked to the lady's home and gave her back the twenty dollars.
She didn't want to take it, but he told her she had to - that his father
pointed out something to him that he had never realized before. Her
eyes filled with tears as she said, "This is one for Ripley."

The boy's question to Abby? "Abby, who is Ripley?"

Is a life built around principles so unusual that Robert Ripley should
mention it in his column "Believe It or Not"? When ideals such as
honesty and a personal standard of always doing the right thing guide our
every action and decision, we actually change. These great principles
shape our lives and make us into persons of character. They build self
esteem and teach
confidence. That boy is fortunate to be raised by a wise father who had
the wisdom to say, "Those are my principles."

Martin Luther King, Jr. put it well: "The time is always right to do
what is right." Those were his principles. Decide to always do what is
right - today and every day - and you will find yourself building a life
that matters.

GENDER. NON-LIVING THINGS

• Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see
  right through them.
• Copiers are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm
  them up again. Its an effective reproductive device if the right buttons
  are pushed, but can wreak havoc, if the wrong buttons are pushed.
• A Tire Is Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.
• A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because to get it to go anywhere, you have
  to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.
• Sponges are Female because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.
• A Web Page is Female because it's always getting hit on.
• A Subway is Male because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
• An Hourglass is Female because over time the weight shifts to the
  bottom.
• A Hammer Is Male because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000
  years but it's handy to have around.
• A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it'd be male, didn't you?
  But consider this - it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it,
  and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps
  trying!
  

GREATER STRENGTHS

This reading is found in Steve Goodier's popular book "A Life That
Makes a Difference"

If you're like most of us, failure is not your best friend! But I like
the attitude of one man. "I don't say I have strengths and weaknesses,"
he asserts. "I say I have strengths and lesser strengths." That's me!
Lots of strengths...many of them "lesser strengths!"

One of my "lesser strengths" may be in the area of art. But the day my
three-year-old asked me to draw a picture of a horse on his chalkboard,
I agreed anyway. And it wasn't too bad.... Well, it wasn't very good,
either. It reminded me a little of a mongrel dog with hooves, but as
they say, I've seen worse. (My own drawings, of course.) However, I did
feel better about the picture when his preschool friend stopped by to
play, looked into his room and asked, "Who drew the horse?" I even felt a
bit proud! So I gladly announced, "I did!"

There was a moment of silence as a look of confusion swept her face.
Then she asked, "Did you draw it when you were a baby?"

Everyone's an art critic!

But I'm thankful to my son's friend for reminding me about my
strengths. Sure, I'd starve as an artist, but I don't have to excel at art. I
have other strengths. And I can marvel at good art while I pursue other
activities.

John Wooden said, "Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you
can do." There's nothing wrong with a list of things you are not able
to do. These are just your lesser strengths. The key is to choose your
greater strengths well. What is important to you? What must you excel
at? And what can you do well? Focus on these priorities and your lesser
strengths won't matter much.

But don't ask me for a picture of a horse!