2005 Movies: A Sound of Thunder: Edward Burns is the kind of actor you cast as the hero when a piece of wood is unavailable. --Globe and Mail.
The Dukes of Hazard: The film's ambitions are so low that it's hard to imagine how it fell short of them --T.V. Guide
Elektra: The resulting action leads to levels of excitement typically attained by proofreading science textbooks ----filmcritic.com
Catwoman: Despite its feline pretensions, Catwoman belongs to another animal family -- it's either a dog or a turkey ---movie-reviews.colusus.net

Question on an application for medical insurance: "Do you think you may need to go to the emergency room with the next three months?"

The American Dream is not to own your home, but to get your kids out of it -Dick Armey

I hit the ball as hard as I can. If I can find it, I hit it again --Pro golfer John Daly

The only thing worse than beating a dead horse is betting on one.

Caution Label: This heat gun used to remove paint can reach temperatures up to 1,000 degrees. Do not use this tool as a hair dryer!
Caution Label: This baking pan will get hot when used in the oven!

Where do you find the book Robbing Banks in the Prison Library? The self-help section.

I looked in the mirror one day and I said to my wife, "How many great coaches do you think there are?" She replied: "One less that you think!" -- Penn State coach Joe Paterno

Sign in the bath department at Home Depot. "Toilets for Display Use Only"

Packaging on a quality cutting board: "Opening with sharp knife may damage Product"!

An Atheist in the forest is confronted by Big Foot and prays to the Lord. The Lord says: "I thought you didn't believe in me". Atheist says: "I didn't believe in Big Foot either."

Helpful Parents: Son says: "Great news, there were only 3 mistakes on my math homework. Mom made one, Dad made one, and I made one!"

Mom with a lead foot stopped by a Georgia State Trooper. "I have never been stopped like this before!" Trooper says: "What do they usually do?--Shoot your ties out!"

Mortgage Loan Salesman on telephone: "Mam, do you have a second mortgage on your home?" "No" "Would you like to consolidate all your debts?" "Don't have any." "How about some cash for home improvements?" "Just did them, and paid cash!" (Silence) "Are you looking for a husband?"