I will never hear church bells ringing again without smiling. Upon
hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went
straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and
comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her
grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday
morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly
100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our
advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells
would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and
even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."
She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued,

"He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."
==========
YOUR WORK IS A GIFT
-- from Steve Goodier's "A Life That Makes a Difference"

Work sometimes has a bad reputation in our world. But there is
something worse than work, and that is boredom. At least that is what Drs.
Kathryn Rost and G. Richard Smith of the University of Arkansas say. After
analyzing the mental health of heart attack survivors, they concluded
that one factor which greatly reduced the chances of depression was
going back to work. And why not? At work we are often around friends, and
people with strong relationships will almost always fare better
mentally. But we humans also need to be useful and productive!

Arthur Kroeger wrote in Quote magazine (August 1994) that his brother
sometimes visited an Anabaptist colony in southern Alberta, Canada.
During one visit he asked leaders how they dealt with the problem of
misbehavior - when people rebelled against the colony's strict rules. He was
told that these people were first asked to correct their behavior. If
they did not respond, they would be given a stern "talking to." "But
what do you do when all else fails, when somebody stubbornly refuses to
behave?" he pressed. "Ah," came the reply, "if it comes to that, then we
don't give him anything to do."

The ultimate punishment - don't give them any work! If that doesn't
sound so bad, just ask those who are unemployed how they feel about not
working. It has been wisely said, "The Lord didn't burden us with work,
but rather blessed us with it." We need to be busy and productive.

Whatever it is you do to make a living - be grateful. Those long hours
and that feeling of exhaustion at the end of the day come from having
something useful to do. Your work is a gift. You are blessed.
==========
THE LESSON of the TWO HORSEs

Just up the road from my home is a field, with two horses in it. From a
distance, each looks like every other horse. But if you stop your car,
or are walking by, you will notice something quite amazing. Looking
into the eyes of one horse will disclose that he is blind. His owner has
chosen not to have him put down, but has made a good home for him. This
alone is amazing.

If nearby and listening, you will hear the sound of a bell. Looking
around for the source of the sound, you will see that it comes from the
smaller horse in the field. Attached to her halter is a small bell. It
lets her blind friend know where she is, so he can follow her. As you
stand and watch these two friends, you'll see how she is always checking
on him, and that he will listen for her bell and then slowly walk to
where she is, trusting that she will not lead him astray. When she returns
to the shelter of the barn each evening, she stops occasionally and
looks back, making sure her friend isn't too far behind to hear the bell.

Like the owners of these two horses, God does not throw us away just
because we are not perfect or because we have problems or challenges. He
watches over us and even brings others into our lives to help us when
we are in need. Sometimes we are the blind horse being guided by the
little ringing bell of those who God places in our lives. Other times we
are the guide horse, helping others see. Good friends are like this. You
don't always see them, but you know they are always there. Please
listen for my bell and I'll listen for yours.

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind
of battle.
==========
COMMON SENSE TEST

Below is one of my favorites and certainly worth re-posting for those
who might have missed it the first time around.

1) How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and
close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things
in an overly complicated way.

2) How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the
refrigerator? Wrong Answer. Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take
out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests
your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals
attend except one. Which animal does not attend?

Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You
just put him in there. This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did
not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more
chance to show your true abilities.

4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and
you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?

Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not
been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting.
This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the
professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got
several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively
disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a
four-year-old.
==========
SEVEN DEADLY SINs QUIZ

Countless souls have been eternally damned for succumbing to them. If
you are bound for hell, discover what sin will send you there. Answer
the questions below honestly and learn your sin. You may be surprised.
You might just learn something new about yourself -- hopefully before
it's too late.

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/seven_deadly_sins.html