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A young blonde female stock broker was bored with driving her BMW. That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in love with it's gorgeous red paint job. An empty check stub later and off she was tearing down the leafy country lanes enjoying her beautiful new car. Her long blonde hair was flowing in the wind, music blaring from the radio, what could possibly go wrong?

At that thought there was a splutter from the engine and the car slowly coasted to a stop. She got out and lifted the bonnet and concluded after a few minutes that she didn't have a bloody clue what was wrong. Luckily she had her mobile phone with her and a quick phone call to the Auto Club and a short wait saw a bright shiny yellow van pull up behind her.

"That's a lovely car," said the mechanic. "What seems to be the matter?" "Well, it just conked out I'm afraid."
"Let me have look." He set to work and ten minutes later the engine was purring like a cat again.
"Thank goodness," she said. "What was the matter?"
"Simple really, just crap in the carburetor," he replied.

Looking shocked she asked, "Oh, OK... How many times a week do I have to do that?"

Cold in Alaska
A couple decided go to Alaska for a romantic weekend. When they got to the cabin it was cold so the wife asked her husband to go chop some wood for that fire place. He came in after 5 minutes and told his wife that his hands were cold, so she said her put your hands between my thighs to warm them.

So he did and went back outside to finish chopping wood. He came in after another 5 minutes and said " honey my hands are cold again". So she tells him here put your hands between my thighs to warm them.

So he did and then he went back out to chop some more wood. 5 minutes has passed and he went in again and said, "honey my hands are cold again".

Too Tired For Romance
Jenny's husband, Charley, was a male chauvinist. Even though they both worked full-time, he never helped around the house. Housework was woman's work!

But one evening Jenny arrived home from work to find the children bathed one load of clothes in the washer and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove, and the table set. She was astonished--something's up.

It turns out that Charley had read an article that said wives who worked full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired to be romantic. The night went well and the next day she told her office friends all about it.

"We had a great dinner. Charley even cleaned up. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put everything away. I really enjoyed the evening."