Five surgeons are discussing the types of people they like to operate
on. The first surgeon says: "I like to see accountants on my operating
table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds: "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything
inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon says: "No, I really think librarians are the best;
everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction
workers...those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over."

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all
wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no
heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the ass are
interchangeable."
==========

10 TIPs FOR CONQUERING YOUR FEARs
--by Bradley Thompson (http://www.selfhelpstreet.com/selfhelp)

Have you ever had a fear that kept you from living life fully? Perhaps
this fear has stopped you from having MORE fun or experiencing GREATER
success. Yes? You're not alone. I have too.

The fear I conquered in the story below may not be my biggest fear but
with a little reflection I saw how it really stopped me from enjoying
my family and life to the fullest. It also taught me a valuable lesson
of how taking steps to overcome my fear resulted in increased self
confidence.

At the end of my story, I'll give you tips for conquering your own
fears.

A few weekends ago my husband and I took our daughter Kasie, and my
nephew Zach, to a water park. We all love the water and were having a
blast until my hubby and the kids took off for --- the water slides.

As they enthusiastically ran to the slides I slowed wayyyy down. In
fact, I stopped, found a chair and proceeded to organize our belongings.
As I settled into a lawn chair I saw Kasie and Zach whoosh down their
side-by-side slides and plunge, feet first, into the cool water. They
quickly resurfaced, sputtering and laughing and ready for more.

As Zach jumped out of the pool to run back up the stairs he looked at
me laughing and said, "Cari's being a wimp." He was right. I was.

You see, even though I love the water I've always been afraid of ---
water slides.

On this particular day however, the kid pressure was too great. I
decided it was the time and place to conquer my old fear. As I hurried to
the steps my chest tightened and my breathing became very shallow. Each
step I took to reach the top of the slide made me feel anxious, awkward
and scared to death.

I focused my attention on the cute and fearless little girl in front of
me. I motivated myself by repeating the mantra, "if she can do it, I
can do it". As we reached the top of the slide, I watched in amazement as
she sprang from the last step to a lying down, torpedo style position
in one fell swoop. As soon as the little girl shot out of sight it was
my turn.

The time had come -- it was now or never. Copying the little girl
before me, I laid down on the slide feet first torpedo style and as I did I
heard the words: Don't fight it, just let yourself go.
As I whooshed down the slide I reminded myself I was OK, to keep
breathing and to relax. As I let my body go it seemed to understand what was
expected of it. It conformed to the twists and turns of the slide and
only seemed to tighten in response to my fearful thoughts. Soon, I could
see the end of the ride was near and as I flew off the end of the slide
into the waiting water, I knew I conquered my fear!

WOW! I did it! I went down a water slide. It was a blast! My husband
told me later, as I was coming down, he could hear me screaming and
laughing. All I could remember was feeling gripped by fear, exhilaration and
pure joy as my body whirled down the watery, slippery path.

Now, I felt ready for more. Once wasn't enough. The second time up the
stairs was much easier and I took my position at the top of the slide
with much more confidence. The ride down the second time was even more
fun because now I knew the curves and the bumps. I navigated the
challenge with a bit more grace. I felt proud of myself for taking action and
for doing something I thought I would never do.

What's your "water slide"? I bet you have one, or many. We all do. What
fear, if you conquered it, would allow you to have a bit more fun,
experience greater success, or live life more fully?

Some fears feel bigger to conquer than others. My water slide fear may
not seem like the biggest fear one could have, but having it caused me
to isolate myself from the rest of my family and kept me from having
MORE fun, joy and exhilaration in my life.

Conquering your fears, one by one, builds confidence and increases your
quality of life. Don't let your fears hold you back from living the
life you wish you were living.

10 Tips For Conquering Your Fears:

1. Recognize a fear is present
2. Declare you are going to conquer the fear
3. Expect to feel anxious, awkward and scared
4. Consider copying a style you like until you find your own style
5. Focus your attention
6. Motivate yourself with affirmations
7. Step into the fear with abandon
8. Let go and have fun! Remind yourself to keep breathing
9. Pat yourself on the back when it's over
10.Notice how much easier it gets

When you have time, take a personal inventory of the fears keeping you
from living the life you want. Then make a commitment and challenge
yourself to face and conquer one them that's been holding you back. Use
the tips above to guide your way. To get started, see if any common fears
from the list below fit you:

Admitting mistakes or wrong-doings. Adventure. Being inadequate/not
good enough. Doing something you've never done before. Expressing
yourself. Failure. Healing emotional wounds. Health concerns. Money/finances.
Never having enough. Public speaking. Promoting yourself. Saying "NO".
Sharing your feelings. Taking a risk, such as starting a business or
changing careers. Traveling.

And once you've figured out what your fears are... CONQUER them!
==========
OLD IS WHEN:

Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer,
"Pick one; I can't do both!"

You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have
to go along.

You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

"Getting a little action" means you don't need to take any fiber today.

"Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot

An "all nighter" means not getting up to use the bathroom.

You are not sure these are jokes.
==========
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU A KICK
--by Steve Goodier

I'm told the story is true: A woman was giving birth to a baby in an
elevator at a hospital. When she complained about the location, a nurse
said, "Why, this isn't so bad; last year a woman delivered her
baby out on the front lawn."

"Yes," said the woman on the floor, "that was me, too."

Who said, "If I didn't have bad luck I wouldn't have any luck at all?"

But on the other hand, not all "bad luck" should be considered a bad
thing! Like someone said, "When life gives you a kick, let it kick you
forward."

In the 1920s, Ernest Hemingway learned something about "bad luck" and
getting kicked by life. He was struggling to make his mark as an author
when disaster struck. He lost a suitcase containing all his manuscripts
-- many stories he'd polished to jewel-like perfection -- which he'd
been planning to publish in a book.

According to Denis Waitley in his book Empires of the Mind (William
Morrow and Company, Inc., 1995), the devastated Hemingway couldn't
conceive of redoing his work. All those months of arduous writing were simply
wasted.

He lamented his predicament to friend and poet Ezra Pound who called it
a stroke of good fortune! Pound assured Hemingway that when he rewrote
the stories, he would forget the weak parts; only the best material
would reappear. He encouraged the aspiring author to start over with a
sense of optimism and confidence. Hemingway did rewrite the stories and
eventually became a major figure in American literature.

Don't pray for fewer problems; pray for more skills. Don't ask for
smaller challenges; ask for greater wisdom. Don't look for an easy way out;
look for the best possible outcome.

When life gives you a kick, let it kick you forward.
==========
YOU ARE LOVE

http://www.youarelovemovie.com/