Katie and Johnny
Joey and Katie are in school. Katie is sleeping
and the teacher asks her a question.
"Katie, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Joey sees Katie sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!!" Exclaimed Katie.
"Correct." Says the teacher.
So the next day the same incident occurs and the same question comes up
"Who created Heaven and Earth?" Katie (Again sleeping) is poked
by Joey's pencil "Jesus Christ almighty!" she exclaims.
"Correct again." Says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks Katie "What did Eve say to Adam when
she had so many children?"
Katie (again sleeping) is poked by Joey's pencil again, and screams
"If you stick that thing in me one more time I am going to crack
it in half!"
Insomnia
A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia.
The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically
wrong with him, and then told him, "Listen, if you ever expect to
cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your troubles to bed
with you."
"I know," said the man, "but
I can't. My wife refuses to sleep alone."
Muddy Road
A motorist was being bogged down in a muddy road,
and had to pay a farmer a hundred dollars to pull him out with his tractor.
After he was back on dry ground he said to the farmer: "With these
prices, you should be pulling people out of the mud night and day!".
"I can't", replied the farmer, "At night I haul water for
the hole".
Smell of a Brothel
One afternoon, a Navy Chief and an Admiral were
sitting in the barber shop. They were both just getting finished with
their shaves and both of their barbers were reaching for some aftershave
to slap on their faces.
The Admiral shouted, "Hey, don't put
that crap on me. My wife will think I've been in a brothel!"
The Chief turned to his barber and said,
"Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of
a brothel smells like."
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