After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says,
"Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?"

The third fellow says "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees."
The first two guys were amazed. "What happened then?" they asked. "She said, 'get out from under the bed and fight like a man'."

Not Seeing
A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But it was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire pay check.

When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" He replied, "That would be fine with me."

Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

10 Years
Back during the days of the Soviet Union, it took 10 years to get a car after you paid for one.
Once, a young guy went to the car dealership to order a car. He paid the money, and the asked when can he come and get the car.
"It will be here, waiting for you, exactly 10 years from today".
The man signed the papers, started walking away and then stooped, turned and asked the salesman: "Wait, will it be ready at the morning or at the afternoon".
"What difference does it make?” asked the salesman.
"Well", answered the man, "the plumber is coming in the morning".