An 80-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with
normal results. The doctor says, "George, everything looks great. How
are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?"

George replies, "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so
he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the
bathroom, poof the light goes on. When I'm done, poof the light goes
off."

"Wow, that's incredible," the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls George's wife. Ethel," he
says, "George is doing fine! But I had to call you because I'm in awe of
his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night
and poof the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, poof
the light goes off?"

"Oh my Gosh!" Ethel exclaims "He's peeing in the refrigerator again."
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THERMOMETERS AND THERMOSTATS
--from Steve Goodier's popular book "Joy Along the Way"

Do you know the difference between a thermometer and a thermostat? A
thermometer simply measures the temperature. It doesn't do anything about
it. A thermostat measures the temperature and then responds. If the
temperature is too high, a thermostat may shut off the heat. If the
temperature is too low, a thermostat may trigger heat to turn on. It measures
temperature and it does something about it. While a thermometer is a
passive tool, a thermostat is an active tool. They both experience the
temperature, but a thermostat responds.

Some people are like thermometers - they passively allow what may harm
them to just happen. They have problems and difficulties and they
believe there isn't anything that can be done about it. They feel helpless
as they watch life happen. They feel as if they have no power. Others
are more like thermostats. When they are faced with difficulty, they kick
into action. They believe that something can be done; a solution can be
found; a hurt can be healed. They respond; they make decisions; they go
into motion.

Advice columnist Ann Landers said, "If I were asked to give what I
consider the single most useful bit of advice for all humanity, it would be
this: expect trouble as an inevitable part of life. When it comes, hold
your head high, look it squarely in the eye, and say, 'I will be bigger
than you. You cannot defeat me.'"

In other words, respond courageously and creatively. Do you know that
you can be bigger than any trouble that comes your way? If you have
be­come stuck because you feel frightened or helpless, it is time to
respond. It is time to go into motion. It is time to activate your faith.
When you become big­ger than your problem, it cannot defeat you. Today -
will you be a thermometer or a thermostat?
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GOD v. SCIENCE

God is sitting in Heaven when a scientist says to Him, "Lord, we don't
need You anymore. Science has finally figured out a way to create life
out of nothing. In other words, we can now do what You did in the
'beginning'."

"Oh, is that so? Tell Me..." replies God.

"Well," says the scientist, "we can take dirt and form it into the
likeness of You and breathe life into it, thus creating man."

"Well, that's interesting. Show Me."

So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mold the soil.

"Oh no, no, no..." interrupts God,

"Get your own dirt."
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DRAW a PIG

Try this personality test!

http://www.freaknfunny.com/files/upload/draw-a-pig.swf
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MAY YOU BE BLESSED

http://www.mayyoubeblessedmovie.com/
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