A Lot
Of Valentines
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man
standing at the counter methodically placing ''Love'' stamps on bright
pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume
bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity was peaked
so he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing.
''I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
''But why?'' asks the man.
''I'm a divorce lawyer."
Cabbie
A mother, accompanied by her small daughter, was in New York City. The
mother was trying to hail a cab, when her daughter noticed several wildly
dressed women who were loitering on a nearby street corner.
The mother finally hailed her cab and they both climbed in, at which point
the young daughter asks her mother, "Mommy, what are all those ladies
waiting for by that corner?"
The mother replies, "Those ladies are waiting for their husbands
to come by and pick them up on the way home from work."
The cabby, upon hearing this exchange, turns to the mother and says, "Ah,
C'mon lady! Tell your daughter the truth! For crying out loud...They're
hookers!"
A brief period of silence follows, and the daughter then asks, "Mommy,
do the hooker ladies have any children?"
The mother replies, "Of course, Dear. Where do you think cabbies
come from?"
New
Job
Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide that
she'll become a hooker.
She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of
that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him that you charge a hundred bucks.
If you got a question, I'll be parked around the corner."
She's standing there for 5 minutes when a guy pulls up and asks, "How
much?" She says, "A hundred dollars."
He says, "All I got
is thirty". She says, "Hold on," and runs back to Harry
and asks, "What can he get for thirty?"
"A hand job", Harry reply.
She runs back and tells
the guy all he gets for thirty dollars is a hand job. He agrees.
She gets in the car. He unzips his pants, and out pops his member.
She stares at it for a
minute, and then says, "I'll be right back."
She runs back to Harry, and asks, "Can you loan this guy seventy
bucks?"
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