A guy walks into a bar, sits down and asks, "Bartender, got any
specials today?"

Bartender answers, "Why yes, as a matter of fact we do, a brand new
drink invented by a gynecologist patron of ours. It's a mix of Pabst Blue
Ribbon Beer and Smirnoff Vodka."

The guy asks, "Good grief, what do you call that?"

The bartender replied, "A Pabst Smir."
==========
JUST DO SOMETHING
--by Steve Goodier

I once stopped behind several cars in an intersection. The winter
weather was icy cold and a strong artic wind blew relentlessly. Ahead of me
a young woman stood alongside the street rubbing her bare hands
together and dancing in place to keep warm. Beside her rested a sign that
read, "I have a baby and no food." She was obviously crying, likely from
the pain of the cold wind.

Homeless and unemployed people are a common sight in many of our larger
cities, and most motorists drive by without offering assistance. They
have no doubt been taught that giving money fosters a dependent
lifestyle, or the ready cash may be used to purchase alcohol or another
substance rather than the food it was intended for. Like me, they may have
been taught that one should give to a local charity or through one's
church, as these institutions can help those in need far more effectively.

This, of course, is true, but I am reminded of the college students who
encountered a homeless man on the sidewalk. One of the students took a
couple of dollars from his wallet and handed it to the unfortunate
stranger. His friend commented, "Why did you do that? He's just going to
spend it on booze or drugs." The student answered, "Yeah...like we're
not!"

As I waited for the light to turn, I felt conflicted about that young
woman. Whether or not I should give money, she was obviously in need.
And whether or not she actually had a baby really didn't seem to matter.
I gave up guessing people's motives and analyzing their stories long
ago. It was cold. She was cold. And she obviously felt
she had to be there.

What should I do? Give her money? What was best?

As I wrestled with these questions, the window rolled down from the car
in front of me and a hand shot out holding a warm pair of gloves. The
driver took her own gloves off and gave them to the shivering woman. I
saw the young woman mouth the words "Thank you" as a broad smile lit up
her face.

As I debated, somebody else helped. As I hesitated, somebody else
acted. As I tried to decide the BEST way to assist, somebody else just did
what she could. As I did nothing, she did something.

I made myself a pledge that day to always do SOMETHING. Whether it is
big or small, just do something. Something is almost always better than
nothing!

Educator Leo Buscaglia said, "Too often we underestimate the power of a
touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or
the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a
life around." Don't underestimate what you CAN do! Each of us can do
something, and the something you do may be more important than you'll ever
know.
==========
DOING SOMETHING

A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a
particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple
of dollars for dinner.

The woman took out her bill fold, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If
I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of
dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless woman.

"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman
asked.

"No, I don't waste time shopping," the homeless woman said. "I need to
eat."

"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman
asked.

"Are you nuts!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done
in 20 years!"

"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead,
I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight".

The homeless woman was astounded. "Won't your husband be furious with
you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty
disgusting."

The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a
woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and
wine."
==========
MIND SET: SAVE YOURSELF
--from The Times of India

Life is a buffet of endless choices that is already available to us.
Everyday we choose what we want to experience this day. Whether we turn
right or left at the end of the driveway is not dictated to use by
necessity, responsibility or anything else.

It is a conscious choice. The fact that we do have responsibilities
only leads us to make certain choices that reflect how we feel about those
responsibilities.

If we choose to experience them we make a choice at the end of the
driveway that says "I am responsible." If we do not wish to accept the
responsibility that we have created, we simply make a choice that says "I
am not responsible."

Our actions represent our thoughts it is a physical symbol of how we
are thinking in the moment. We cannot demonstrate a thought physically
that does not demonstrate our true thoughts unless we are insane, and
even then there is a thought behind the action.

The world is perfect the way it is. The circumstances and conditions of
the world are our thoughts made manifest. The world is the way it is
because that is how we want it to be. If it is not, then it represents
our global insanity our thinking is not working.

But the world does not have to be changed, we do! If what we are
experiencing is not what we desired or want to experience, then there is
something that is not working for us, and it needs to be corrected.

If we consider ourselves highly evolved persons and we have created a
world that we do not wish to experience, there is something wrong with
our thinking. We have clearly not demonstrated our superiority as a
collective world body.

There are only three possible exceptions to this we may indeed be
insane, or it was our desire to experience this world as it is now. The
other possibility is that we created a situation that has huge benefits and
opportunities for growth.

It is easy to pollute, but much more difficult to correct the problem.
It may be our subconscious desire to expand even more quickly in order
to save ourselves from the damage that we have done.

When people have a common goal, they begin to work more effectively
together and change comes quickly. Reaction to crisis or disaster brings
unity in thought, and the combined thought process brings changes
faster.

If humanity sees itself as lost, the global circumstances are
reflecting that thought. In order to restore order chaos is created, and the
chaos demands more thought energy and unity to bring order once again. It
is clear that as a race of people we have not really evolved very much
spiritually.

So at a subconscious level we are now creating circumstances in our
environment that are going to give us the opportunity to learn from our
mistakes, and bring out in each one of us, a whole new era of thoughtful
enlightenment that is life affirming.

The circumstances of the world, natural disasters, poverty, cruelty,
inequity, and war are not punishments from God or anyone else.

They were created by us individually and en masse. They are
opportunities for growth, and greater cooperation and spiritual enlightenment.
When we rise from our own insanity, and see what is obvious, we will be
able to change what we have done.

The world is perfect the way it is, because it is what we wanted to
experience at some level of consciousness. We now have another opportunity
to change it, if we no longer wish to experience it in its present
condition, if we pass that responsibility onto others or God, then we will
be waiting a very long time for them to change it.

The creator does not perform miracles. He gave humanity to ability to
do them for itself. Miracles are simply thoughts manifested, that do not
reflect current conditions. The world does not need a miracle unless we
believe that it does.

Then, and only then will we have the power to change it. If disasters
and wars are the wake-up call for a world that it has gone insane, then
we are now in the position to acknowledge it, and alter our thoughts to
manifest the world we desire to experience.

It is not necessary to change the world from what it is. This
probability will always exist. It is within each of us to change our thoughts
about the world, and how we want to experience it, and manifest the world
that we desire into our present reality.

Leave this world alone and create something new. Put all your efforts
and energy into thoughts of a new world that you wish to experience, and
you will create it. You cannot save the world and the world does not
need saving. You need to save yourself from yourself.
==========
A FRUSTRATING GAME

Here's a "fun" game to play. The object of the game is to move the red
block around without getting hit by the blue blocks or touching the
black walls. If you can go longer than 18 seconds you are phenomenal.
Reportedly, the US Air Force uses this for fighter pilots. They are
expected to go for at least 2 minutes. Give it a try!

http://members.iinet.net.au/~pontipak/redsquare.html