Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been
playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the
house and asked her, "Grandma, what is that called when two people are
sleeping in the same room and one is on top of the other?"

She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth. "It's
called sexual intercourse, darling."

Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK" and went back outside to talk and play
with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it is
not called sexual intercourse! It's called bunk beds! -- and Jimmy's Mom
wants to talk to you!!"
==========

I WISH YOU ENOUGH

Recently, I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments
together at the airport as the daughter's departure had been announced.
Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said, "I love
you and I wish you enough." The daughter replied, "Mom, our life
together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you
enough, too, Mom." They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked
over to the window where I sat.

Standing there, I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not
to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, "Did you
ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?"

"Yes, I have," I replied. "Forgive me for asking but why is this a
forever good-bye?"

"I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the
reality is the next trip back will be for my funeral," she said.

"When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough.'
May I ask what that means?"

She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other
generations. My parents used to say it to everyone."

She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail
and she smiled even more. "When we said 'I wish you enough' we were
wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good
things to sustain them."

Then turning toward me, she shared the following, reciting it from
memory.

"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much
bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye."

To all of you reading this: I wish you enough!
==========
SENIOR EXERCISE

I came across this exercise suggested for seniors, to build muscle
strength in the arms and shoulders. It seems so easy, I thought I'd pass it
on. The article suggested doing it three days a week.

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of
room at each side.

With a 5-lb. potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out
from your sides, and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a
full minute, then relax. Each day, you'll find that you can hold this
position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb. potato sacks. Then 50-lb.
potato sacks, and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a
100-lb. potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than
a full minute.

Once you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the
sacks.
==========
AFRAID TO ASK
--by Steve Goodier

We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid," says comedy writer
Gene Perret. "A girl would spin the bottle, and if the bottle pointed to
you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss
you or give you a nickel. By the time I was 14, I owned my own home."

Rejection is hard to take. Especially when it comes from someone you
know. Or don't know.

Football coach Bum Phillips once said, "There's only two kinds of
coaches -- them that's been fired and them that's about to be fired." Now
there is an occupation that is familiar with
rejection!

Few things hold people back more than the fear of rejection. They don't
ask for what they need because the answer may be no. They don't ask
their boss for a raise or for more time off. They don't ask for help from
people they do not know well. They are afraid to be the first to say,
"I love you." They don't ask for a better deal or a lower interest rate.
They don't submit that manuscript to be considered for publishing. In
short, they don't let their wants and needs be known, for fear of being
turned away.

But the wonderful truth is this: If you can accept NO for an answer,
you can ask for anything!" When it is okay to be rejected, you can
fearlessly ask for whatever you need.

It is also true that you will not receive if you do not ask. So don't
be afraid to ask! All they can say is NO! And you may be surprised at
the number of people willing to help. They were
waiting to be asked.

What do you need to ask for today?
==========
REVISED CYCLE of LIFE

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is
tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get in the end of it?
A death. What's that, a bonus?

I think the life cycle is all backwards.

1. You should die first, you know, start out dead, get it out of the
way. You wake up in a an old age home, feeling better every day.

2. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension,
then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

3. You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your
retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous (hey,
you've only got a few years left, what's the big deal?) and you get ready
for High School.

4. Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have
no responsibilities, and, finally, you become a baby.

5. The last step, you spend your last 9 months floating peacefully with
luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, larger
quarters everyday, and then.......

6. You finish off as an orgasm!
==========
Peace, balance, & harmony.

Sir Peter of Sedona