A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born? The
father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out
anyway. Your mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I
set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We
sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download
from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that
neither one of us had set up a firewall, and since it was too late to
hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Pop-up appeared
and said:

"You've got male."
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THE DONKEY RAFFLE

A young hillbilly named Kenny, moved to texas and bought a donkey from
a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next
day. The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have
some bad news, the donkey died."

Kenny replied, "Well, then, just give me my money back"

The farmer responded that he couldn't do that because "I went and spent
it already."

Kenny said, "Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey."

The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"

Kenny said, "I'm going to raffle him off."

The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"

Kenny said, "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he is
dead."

A month later, the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What happened
with that dead donkey?"
Kenny said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a
piece and made a profit of $998.00."

The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?"

Kenny said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."

Kenny eventually became the chairman of Enron.
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A WOMAN's POEM

He didn't like the casserole and he didn't like my cake.

He said my biscuits were too hard not like his mother used to make.

I didn't perk the coffee right, he didn't like the stew.

I didn't mend his socks the way his mother used to do.

I pondered for an answer, I was looking for a clue.

Then I turned around and smacked the crap out of him like his momma
used to do.
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IMPERTURBABILITY
--from Steve Goodier's "Touching Moments"

I think Charles Allen said it first. "When faced with problems which
threaten to steal your peace of mind, learn the meaning of the word
'imperturbability.'"

I heard of two artists who were asked to illustrate peace. Each was
assigned the task of depicting a peaceful scene on canvas.

The first artist drew a beautiful picture of a countryside on a warm,
spring day. A soft sun illumines green grass and bathes a picturesque
farmhouse and grazing cattle in its warmth. A farmer walks contentedly
behind strong plow horses preparing his field for spring planting. The
picture is one of beauty and quiet tranquility.

The other artist took a different approach. He drew a majestic, rugged
cliff. Gnarled trees, twisted by years of violent winds, jut from the
craggy mountainside. Dark clouds hang low and fierce while jagged
streaks of lightening slash across an angry sky. The picture is one of
violence, chaos and rage.

But as one looks closely, something else becomes visible. There in one
of the crevices of the rocky mountain, tucked back just out of reach of
the wind and rain - a nest with two small birds. Apparently unconcerned
about the impending storm, they appear calm, cozy and peaceful as they
patiently wait for the turbulence to pass.

And isn't that the way it so often is? We may want to be surrounded by
peace, but storms rage. Problems and pressures without threaten to
steal peace of mind within.

The answer is imperturbability: inner peace that doesn't leave when
circumstances change. It's a peace that is greater than the problems of
life, built on assurance that the tempest will finally pass, that we will
survive the storm, that we may grow stronger because of it and, in the
meantime, we will not endure it alone.

Imperturbability - it's the result of a peace that passes
understanding. For serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm.
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TAKE TIME