If I Wasn't Rich
A Rich old man, who inherited all his money from his father, one day asks his young wife: "Honey, would you still have married me if my father didn't leave me with all this money?”

His wife smiles gently and answers: "Sure honey, you know I would marry you no matter who gave you the money".

Expensive Dish
A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant opened by a fellow cannibal.

Feeling somewhat hungry he sat down and looked over the menu...
Broiled Missionary: $10.00
Fried Explorer: $15.00
Baked Politician: $100.00.
The cannibal asked the waiter: "Why such a price difference for the politician?"

The cook replied "Have you ever tried to clean one of them?"

Spitting In the Drink
A guy goes into a bar. He orders a beer, and after a while he needs to go to the toilet. Because he is afraid someone will drink his beer, he puts a small note on it that says: "I spit in this beer, do not drink!”
After a few minutes he returns, he sees another note on the beer, saying "So did I!”

An Italian Affair
A wealthy man had been having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he said he would give her a large sum of money if she
would go to Italy and secretly have the child.

If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked, "How will you know when the baby is born?" To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. "Honey,
you received a very strange post card today," she said.
"Oh, just give it to me and I will explain it later," he said.
The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, and Spaghetti.
Two with meatballs, one without."