On his way out of church after mass, Frank stopped at the door to speak
to the minister. “Would it be right,” he asked, “for
a person to profit from the mistakes of another?”
“Absolutely not!” replied the pastor, disappointed that Frank
would even ask such a question.
“In that case,” said the young man, “I wonder if you’d
consider returning the hundred dollars I paid you to marry my wife and
me last July.”
Wild Things
An old man sitting at the mall watched a teenager intently. The teenager
had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue.
The old man kept staring at him.
When the teenager was tired of being stared at, he sarcastically asked,
"What's the matter, old man? Never did anything wild in your life?"
The old man did not bat an eye when he responded, "Got drunk once
and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."
A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink rapidly.
"Is everything okay, pal?", the bartender asks.
"My wife and I got into a fight and she said she isn't talking to
me for a month!".
Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, "Well,
maybe that's kind of a good thing. You know, a little peace and quiet?"
"Yeah. But today is the last day".
It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and
this should help get you started.
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director >what
the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then
we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him
or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person
would use
the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the
plug.
Do you want a bed near the window?"
Soooooooooo......DID YOU PASS OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE?
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