The oldest profession
A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them
belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. The physician
said, "Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam and fashioned
Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession."
The engineer replied, "But, before that, God
created the heavens and earth from chaos and confusion, and thus he was
the first engineer. Therefore, engineering is an older profession than
medicine."
Then, the lawyer
spoke up. "Yes," he said, "But who do you think created
all of the chaos and confusion?"
THE GOLDEN YEARS
A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex therapist's office.
The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?"
The man says, "Will you watch us have sex?" The doctor raises
both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking
for sex advice that he agrees. When the couple finishes, the doctor says,
"There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have sex."
He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50
and he says goodbye.
The next week, however, the couple returns and asks the sex therapist
to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees. This happens
several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, has sex with
no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.
Finally, after 5 or 6 weeks of this routine, the doctor says, "I'm
sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?"
The old man says, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married
and we
can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house.
The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. We do it here for
$50, and
I get $43 back from Medicare."
Sick In Church
A little girl and her mother were in church when the girl started to feel
ill.
"Mommy, can we leave now?" asked the girl.
"No." replied Mom.
"I think I'm gonna throw up."
"Well go out the front door, walk around the back of the church and
throw up behind a bush."
A few moments later the girl returned to her seat.
"Did you throw up?" asked Mom.
"Yes."
"How could you have gone all the way around the church, throw up
and be back here so soon?"
"I didn't even have to go outside. They have a box right by the front
door that says 'for the sick'."
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