There is this French couple, sitting up talking, when the wife says to
the husband that it was time he had a conversation with their thirteen
year old son about the birds and the bees.

So the father goes to his son's room and says, "Son, do you remember
that session I arranged for you with mademoiselle Ginette?"

"Oh yes papa, I remember very well," says the son.

"Well son, it is time you knew that the birds and the bees do the same
thing."
==========
FOR THE GARDEN OF YOUR LIVING

Plant Three Rows of Peas
1. Peas of mind
2. Peas of heart
3. Peas of soul

Plant Three Rows of Lettuce
1. Lettuce be faithful
2. Lettuce be kind
3. Lettuce really love one another

Plant Four Rows of Squash
1. Squash gossip
2. Squash indifference
3. Squash grumbling
4. Squash selfishness

Plant Three Rows of Turnips
1. Turnip for meetings
2. Turnip for service
3. Turnip to help one another

Plant Four Rows of Thyme
1. Thyme for each other
2. Thyme for family
3. Thyme for friends
4. Thyme for God

Water freely with patience and cultivate with love because you reap
what you sow.
==========
MOTHER KNOWS BEST

My mother taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it out side. I just finished
cleaning."

My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into to the middle
of next week."

My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so that's why."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck."

My mother taught me HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate."

My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, I can take you out."

My mother taught me BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father."

My mother taught me HOW TO BE COME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to stay that way."

My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And finally; my mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."
==========

LESSONS FROM THE COURT
--by Steve Goodier

Life lessons can come from unexpected places.

I have learned much about myself from the game of racquetball. In fact,
I have learned a great deal over the years about all aspects of life
and living on the racquetball court. Here are some of the more important
lessons that have come from the court:

1. People play better when they are encouraged. It's true in life, too.
People do better when they are encouraged, rather than criticized,
condemned and judged.

2. When two or more people occupy a small space, they should learn to
share. It goes for planets, too.

3. The only way to get better is to practice. And in life, the only way
to improve relationships, learn courage, or be happy is to practice.

4. Pay attention. Those who lose their focus, lose games. And those
people who focus too much on yesterday or tomorrow will never live today
fully and joyously.

5. There are always people who will do better than you. But your job is
not to be the best, it is to do your best.

6. Attitude really is everything. When you believe in your success,
visualize it and work toward it, you are more likely to succeed.

7. Losses are lessons. When I lose a game so badly that I am humiliated
on the court, I thank my opponent for the free lesson. Failures are not
endings; they are lessons to learn from.

8. It isn't over until the last point is scored. Many victories are
snatched after one comes back from almost insurmountable odds. So it is
with life.

9. Work can be fun, but fun should never become merely work. Life is to
be enjoyed.

10. The only way to score...is to serve. On the court and in life that
is true. Individuals and institutions that make a difference find ways
to meet human need. Those people who are happiest and most satisfied
with their lives have learned to serve. Great lives are built on it.

==========
SHIPWRECKED

A voyaging ship was wrecked during a storm at sea and only two of the
men on it were able to swim to a small, desert-like island. The two
survivors, not knowing what else to do, agreed that they had no other
recourse but to pray to God. However, to find out whose prayer was more
powerful, they agreed to divide the territory between them and stay on
opposite sides of the island.

The first thing they prayed for was food. The next morning, the first
man saw a fruit-bearing tree on his side of the land, and he was able to
eat its fruit. The other man's parcel of land remained barren.

After a week, the first man was lonely and he decided to pray for a
wife. The next day, another ship was wrecked, and the only survivor was a
woman who swam to his side of the land. On the other side of the
island, the second man had nothing.

Soon the first man prayed for a house, clothes, and more food. The next
day like magic, all of these were given to him. However, the second man
still had nothing.

Finally, the first man prayed for a ship, so that he and his wife could
leave the island. In the morning, he found a ship docked at his side of
the island. The first man boarded the ship with his wife and decided to
leave the second man on the island. He considered the other man
unworthy to receive God's blessings, since none of his prayers had been
answered.

As the ship was about to leave, the first man heard a voice from heaven
booming: Why are you leaving your companion on the island?

My blessings are mine alone, since I was the one who prayed for them
the first man answered. His prayers were all unanswered and so he does
not deserve anything.

You are mistaken the voice rebuked him. He had only one prayer, which I
answered. If not for that, you would not have received any of my
blessings. Tell me, the first man asked the voice, what did he pray for that
I should owe him anything?

He prayed that all your prayers be answered.