Yo! Bro’s! Condi’s boss man is here. Wore my black cowboy boots! Got my stereotype I god. I missed the last 5 meetings, but since you don’t contribute much to Republican campaigns, it wasn’t worth it. Let’s review the civil rights record of this administration.

First, the Rights in the Senate are much more Civil than the Lefts. I am the only president to name 2 black Secretaries of State. Let me assure you that Colin Powell did not quit because of race. He quit because we lied to him. We have more blacks in the White House than before. That’s just the Southern way. Cheney likes to know where they are. If one quits, we just get another one. Condi flies by herself on Air Force 1. She even sits in the front of the plane. I like watching videos of her deplane in Muslim states off AF1 -- It really makes them mad!

The only place she can’t fly is Saudi Arabia -- they’re my home boys in the oil hood. Dick Cheney just happens to live in Casper, Wyoming -- the city that’s as white as the friendly ghost. Be glad you don’t live there - It’s too cold in the winter. Cheney has only shot white folk-- so far. The neighbors don’t want you visiting Crawford. It’s not me. Sorry, I missed the Rosa Parks funeral in Detroit, but when locals burned my image dummy in effigy, an appointment appeared on my calendar. What did the dummy do? I responded by giving Muhammad Ali the highest civilian honor. Thought he was Saudi.

We don’t discriminate in gathering information about citizens. Any citizen, regardless of race, can provide information to supplement our files. We give you preference in signing up for the military and being war heroes. Serving in the Army for 4 years prepares young black men for life in the Hood. Encourage your children to join the Army today.

During Hurricane Katrina, we knew the whites would flee first. We didn’t want blacks to get trampled by their exit. When we ordered 3 thousand busses from Greyhound, they assured us they would be there within a month. But, I made 11 trips to visit Katrina devastation and each time I hugged a black woman with a baby. Sorry I didn’t have food.
I gave huge tax breaks to your favorite NBA & NFL players for charitable giving. I encouraged the defeat of the extension of the voting rights bill out of concern for you. We only count 25% of your votes anyway. So, I wanted to save you time.

A ray of hope. If we ignore global warming long enough, black people will be the only ones to survive the heat. Please contribute to the United Negro GOP legal defense fund.
Exit Song:
“Gospel Singers Sing This Song, Doo Dah, Doo Dah!
Welfare Lines are Five Miles Long, Oh Doo Dah Day!
Can’t Sleep at Night ….Goin Hungry All Day.
Bet My Money on a Democrat,
White Folk bet on DeLay!”