Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of her own. They like other people's.

A grandfather is a man grandmother.

Grandparents don't have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn't play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the store and have lots of quarters for us.

When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.

They show us and talk to us about the color of the flowers and also Why we shouldn't step on "cracks."

They don't say, "Hurry up."

Usually grandmothers are fat, but not too fat to tie your shoes.

They wear glasses and funny underwear.

They can take their teeth and gums out.

Grandparents don't have to be smart.

They have to answer questions like "why isn't God married?" and "How come dogs chase cats?".

When they read to us, they don't skip. They don't mind if we ask for the same story over again.

Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don't have television, because they are the only grown ups who like to spend time with us.

They know we should have snack-time before bedtime and they say prayers with us every time, and kiss us even when we've acted bad.
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NEW OFFICE SLANG I

404 - Someone who is clueless. From the Web error message, “404 Not Found,” which means the document requested couldn’t be located. “Don’t bother asking John. He’s 404.”

Adminisphere - The rarified organizational layers above the rank and file that makes decisions that are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant.

Alpha Geek - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. “I dunno, ask Rick. He’s our alpha geek.”

Assmosis - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

Batmobiling - putting up emotional shields. Refers to the retracting armor that covers the Batmobile as in “she started talking marriage and he started batmobiling”

Beepilepsy - The brief seizure people sometimes suffer when their beepers go off, especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions, and stopping speech in mid-sentence.

Betamaxed - When a technology is overtaken in the market by inferior but better marketed competition as in “Microsoft betamaxed Apple right out of the market”

Blamestorming - A group discussion of why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

Blowing Your Buffer - Losing one’s train of thought. Occurs when the person you are speaking with won’t let you get a word in edgewise or has just said something so astonishing that your train gets derailed. “Damn, I just blew my buffer!” (Synonym: “Head Crash”)

Body Nazis - Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn’t work out obsessively.

Bookmark - To take note of a person for future reference. “After seeing his cool demo at Siggraph, I bookmarked him.”

Brain Fart - A byproduct of a bloated mind producing information effortlessly; a burst of useful information. “I know you’re busy on the Microsoft story, but can you give us a brain fart on the Mitnik bust?” Variation of old hacker slang that had more negative connotations.

CGI Joe - A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and charisma of a plastic action figure.

Chainsaw Consultant - An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the top brass with clean hands.

Chip Jewelry - Old computers destined to be scrapped or turned into decoration. “I paid three grand for that Mac and now it’s nothing but chip jewelry.”

Chips and Salsa - Chips = hardware, salsa = software. “First we gotta figure out if the problem’s in your chips or your salsa.”

CLM (Career Limiting Move)- Used by microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity. “Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.”

Cobweb - A WWW site that is never updated. Crapplet - A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. “I just wasted 30 minutes downloading that crapplet!”

Cube Farm - An office filled with cubicles.
======================
TO CHANGE YOUR LUCK
--from Steve Goodier's "Deciding How to Live"

A band of young car thieves thought they'd found the perfect plan. They set to work stealing cars in a mall parking lot on one of the busiest days of the year. Unfortunately, their first choice was their worst choice. They spotted a nice-looking van and began picking the locks. In no time at all the door opened, and inside they found police officers, who were using the vehicle as an undercover surveillance van!

One might say that they ran into some bad luck. (Or maybe stealing cars was a bad decision to begin with and luck had nothing to do with it.)

Many people DO try to manage their luck, however. So they believe in rituals and talismans to aid in their success. According to Jeanne Ralston ("What's Luck Go To Do With It?" Ladies Home Journal, Jan.,1999), athletes, as a group, are often superstitious. Home-run king Hank Aaron wore the same shower shoes for twenty years because he thought they brought him luck, and basketball great Michael Jordan felt more confident with his University of North Carolina basketball shorts under his Chicago Bulls uniform.

Some of us go for four leaf clovers, a superstition from the Druids of medieval Europe who believed that the plant imparted to those who found them special powers to see invisible witches and evil spirits. Others may carry a rabbit's foot. It was because of the great bunny-making capabilities of rabbits that ancient Celts believed they should be associated with luck and prosperity. Still other people speak of knocking on wood, a custom that seems to have grown from a belief that the noise may prevent evil spirits from hearing you mention your good luck.

I understand that basketball player George Underwood once said this about luck: "I have just two superstitions. One, don't call someone a bad name if they have a loaded pistol. Two, don't call your girl friend Tina if her name is Vivian."

Robert Collier instructs that all of us have bad luck and good luck. But the one who persists through the bad luck - who keeps right on going - is the one who is there when the good luck comes. This person, says Collier, is the one who is ready to receive that opportunity when
it is presented.

In other words, luck really does favor the prepared. And those who persist and work hard. "The more I practice," said golf pro Arnold Palmer, "the luckier I seem to get."

To change your luck, change your attitude from pessimism to optimism. Something good really is around the corner. Then work hard and be ready. When that next opportunity comes, you'll be the one to seize it and make something happen. It can be your next lucky break!
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Peace, balance, & harmony.

Sir Peter of Sedona