( It's getting ugly.)
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HOW NOT to COMMIT a ROBBERY

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this: "Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that she got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

TIME TO WAKE UP
Rich Johnson quips, "My mom always claimed to feel bad when a bird would slam head-first into our living room window. If she REALLY felt bad, though, she'd have moved the bird feeder outside."

We laugh, but what a great life lesson! If we feel badly enough about something, we will change it. If we feel badly enough about a behavior or an attitude, we will adopt a better behavior or a healthier attitude. We CAN change!

You remember Charles Dickens immortal story "Christmas Carol." The miserly Scrooge grows increasingly unconcerned with others and isolated until, one night, he is invited by supernatural visitors to change. The "Ghost of Christmas Past" takes him by the hand and shows him how his life has unfolded and how his self-centered decisions have led him to his present unhappy state. The "Ghost of Christmas Present" takes the blindfolds off his narrow view of life so he can clearly see how he has insolated himself from the struggles of others. Finally, the "Ghost of Christmas Future" portrays to Scrooge what is likely to happen if he persists along his present course. It is an ugly sight.

Then...how does the story end? Scrooge wakes up. That's right -- he WAKES UP! When he awakens from his slumber he also awakens to the way things are. He wakes up and changes! We really CAN change.

The name of Scrooge should never be associated with a miserly person. That was the OLD Scrooge. But he woke up! He became generous and jovial. He realized that he could enjoy life. He discovered love -- by giving it away! Nobody "kept Christmas" like Scrooge, Dickens tells us.

And that's what change is -- waking up. Waking up to the fact the things really CAN be different! We CAN change.

I like this prayer "with a twist":

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change; The courage to change the one I can; And the wisdom to know that person is me."
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DUH!

A man called the local township administrative office to request the removal of the "Deer Crossing" sign on his road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
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I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge? To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
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The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"
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A BETTER WAY
We live in a day of unrestrained violence. Children are snatched from homes or slain at school. Bombs and missiles are exploded in public places. There is war and there are rumors of war. No community, no race, no nation is immune to nor protected from a growing culture of violence. More than ever, we need to learn a different way, for the path we're following has led us into a dark and dangerous wilderness.

I like the way of Khamisa and Felix. One deadly evening in 1995, 14-year-old Tony Hicks shot and killed a 21-year-old college student and pizza deliveryman. Tony and several other gang members ordered pizza and, when it was delivered, Tony was told by his gang to shoot the young man who delivered the food, Tariq Khamisa.

Tariq's father Azim was enraged at the senseless killing. "There's something really wrong with a society where kids kill kids," he spat. He was angry at the kids, but he was even more upset with a culture that breeds so much violence.

Shortly after his son's death, Azim heard from a gentleman named Ples Felix. Ples was Tony Hick's grandfather. Azim invited Ples to his home and the two men shared their mutual grief and heartache. They also decided to do something. "I realized that change had to start with me," Azim reasoned. Therefore, though he may have wanted revenge, Azim Khamisa chose a different way to respond to his son's death.

What happened? Azim Khamisa toured the United States with Ples Felix, the grandfather of his son's killer. The two men visited schools with a message of nonviolence. They told the story of Tariq and Tony -- one child dead and the other in prison. And in a culture of violence, these two men of peace change lives -- by changing the attitudes of young people.

Martin Luther King, Jr. said that we do not start living until we can rise above the narrow confines of our individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity. If that is true, then these two men are helping the rest of us to truly live. They're showing us a better way. And if we listen and learn, I believe we'll all be saved.