Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He
performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM
dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience
contest. Needless to say, she won.

"Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week
I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately
at work, so I thought I'd share my dilemma with you to make you realize
it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I
first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know,
my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office.
It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool, so what we do
to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.

This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It
heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver
through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds
like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose
and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit
with warm water -it's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a
few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my
back, but the damage was done. In agony, I realized what had happened. The
hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't
stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding
the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor
of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due
to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing
hysterically. Needless to say, I aborted the dive. I was instructed to
make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five
minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry
decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub
it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire
out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut."

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat
to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."

Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad
day?
==========
TWELVE SIGNs of INNER PEACE

1. A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based
on past experiences.
2. An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
3. A loss of interest in judging other people.
4. A loss of interest in judging self.
5. A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.
6. A loss of interest in conflict.
7. A loss of the ability to worry. (This is a very serious symptom.)
8. Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
9. Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.
10. Frequent attacks of smiling.
11. An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them
happen.
12. An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well
as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.
==========
A GASSER of a TALE!

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became
apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home
from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told
him that I would be late because I had to walk home.

On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was
more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk
off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the
diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked
beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.

Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed
delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."

He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I
took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the
telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned
and went to answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure
was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I
seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It
was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over
a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and
fanned the air around me vigorously.

Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink
was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the
conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few
minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone
farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few
more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on
it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband
returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through
the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed
the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table
chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

I fainted!
==========
THE SECRET of INTUITION

14 new insights reveal how intuition controls the mind.

http://www.increasebrainpower.com/intuitive-algorithm.html
==========
TREADMILL DANCING

http://www.miniego.com/weblog/page/rache?entry=treadmill_dancing_awesome_video
==========
Peace, balance, & harmony.