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Rules of Texas:

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel
road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No
matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust
on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. They are cattle & oil wells. That's what they
smell like to you. They
smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it?
I-20 and I-10 go
east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.

4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We
have $250,000 cotton strippers that are driven
only 3 weeks a year.

5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called
being friendly.
Try to understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves
are coming in, we
WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you
don't have it up to your ear at the time.

7. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawfish. You really
want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner
bait shop.
8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season.
It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday
to the first of November.

9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all
women, regardless of age.
10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu.
Order steak. Or you can order the
Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham &
turkey.

11. When we fill out a table, there are three main
dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads.
We use three spices: salt, pepper, and Picante Sauce!
!
Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat...
IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!! Chili was born and bred
in San Antonio ....
and real chili never met a tomato!

12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown,
wet, and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into
my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive
a truck, and have long hair.

13. College and High School Football is as important
here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site
more fun to watch.

14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the
water hazards --
it spooks the fish.

15. Colleges? Try Texas Tech, Texas A&M or University
of Texas . They come outta there with an education
plus a love for God and country, and they still wave
at passing pickups when they come for the holidays.
16. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force,
and Marines, than any other state, so "Don't Mess
with Texas," If you do, you will get whipped by the
best.

17. Always remember what our great governor Sam Houston
once said:
" Texas can make it without the United States , but
the United States
can't make it without Texas !"

Texas is the greatest state ever!! If you are from
Texas you are one bad hombre!!! If you do not repost
this in 10 min. you are not a true Texan!!!!!!
Have an awesome day, and know that someone has thought about you.
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