Adam's
Questions
One day, God and Adam were walking in the Garden of Eden. God told Adam
that it was time to populate the Earth. "Adam, you can start by kissing
Eve."
"Lord, what is a kiss?" asked Adam.
God explained, and then Adam took Eve behind the bush and kissed her. A
little while later, Adam returned with a big smile and said, "Lord!
That was great! What's next?"
"Adam, I now want you to caress Eve."
"Lord, what is caress?" asked Adam.
God explained, then Adam took Eve behind the bush and caressed her.
A little while later, Adam returned with a big smile and said, "Lord
that was even better than a kiss! What's next?"
"Here is what gets the deed done. I now want you to make love to Eve."
"Lord, what is make love?" asked Adam.
God explained, then Adam took Eve behind the bush.
A few seconds later, Adam returned and asked, "Lord, what is a headache?"
English Prisoner
An English prisoner of war was held by the Germans. The Englishman was
shot all over the place, and okay until one day when the German told him,
"Englander, your arm is infected with gangrene we must cut it off."
The English prisoner said, "Well, okay, but could you drop it over
England when you go bombing."
The German replied, "Ya, that vill not be a problem."
A few weeks later the German tells the Englishman that they have to cut
his other arm off. The Englishman says, "Well, could drop it over
England like you did last time."
"Ya, that will be done," says the German.
The next day the German tells him that they have to cut his leg off. Once
again the Brit says, "Well, could you do the same as before."
The German replies, " ya."
The next the German tells him they have to cut his other leg. "Well,"
begins the Brit, "could you just..."
The German snapped, "No! We think you are trying to escape!."
Gender
Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see
right through them.
Copiers are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm
them up again. Its an effective reproductive device if the right buttons
are pushed, but can wreak havoc, if the wrong buttons are pushed.
A Tire Is Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.
A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because to get it to go anywhere, you have
to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.
Sponges are Female because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.
A Web Page is Female because it's always getting hit on.
A Subway is Male because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
An Hourglass is Female because over time the weight shifts to the bottom.
A Hammer Is Male because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years
but it's handy to have around.
A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it'd be male, didn't you?
But consider this - it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it,
and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!
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