|
Headache Cure
One day a guy goes to his doctor and says, "Doc I have these real bad headaches.
What should I do?"
The doctor replies, "Well, to get rid of my headaches I just have sex with
my wife." They both laugh.
A week later the patient returns. The doctor asks, "How are you feeling?"
The patient smiles and replies" You were right! I feel so much better.
And, by the way, Doc, you have a lovely home."
Breakfast Argument
A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast.
"You aren't so good in bed either!" he shouted and stormed off to work.
By mid morning, he decided he'd better make amends and called home. "What
took you so long to answer?"
"I was in bed." "What were you doing in bed this late?" "Getting
a second opinion."
Johnny the Gambler
Little Johnny's dad was a retired gambler. Having picked up a few of his old man's
bad habits, Johnny wagered on anything and everything, and he was good at it.
Eventually, it became such a problem, that Johnny's teacher called his father
to discuss it. After a long conversation, they decided to teach him a lesson.
One day after class Johnny approached his teacher. "You're not really blonde,"
he said. "I've seen your bush and it's pitch black, you dye your hair."
"I most certainly do not," she replied.
"I bet you ten bucks you do," he said.
She saw that this was an opportunity to teach him a lesson, so she waited for
all the other children to leave the class and took off her pants, showing him
that her pubic hair was the same color as the hair on her head. Johnny paid her
the ten dollars and walked sullenly out of the room.
A few hours later Johnny's teacher called his father. "I think I finally
taught him a lesson," she said.
"The hell you have," his father said angrily. "This morning he
bet me $50 he'd see your vagina before the end of the day."
Strange Beggar
Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome.
One has a cross in front of him; the other one the Star of David.
Many people go by and look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of
the beggar sitting behind the cross.
A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar
behind the cross, but none give to the beggar behind the Star of David.
Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says,
"My poor fellow, don't you understand?? This is a Catholic country; this
city is the seed of Catholicism. People aren't going to give you money if you
sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting
beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they would probably give to him just
out of spite."
The beggar behind the 'Star of David' listened to the priest, turned to the other
beggar with the cross and said:
"Moshe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing."
|