Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their
days interesting. Well, for example, the other day Marilyn and I went
into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5
minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

We went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior
citizen a break?" He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called
him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for
having worn tires. So Marilyn called him a shithead.

He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the
first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20
minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus. We try to have a
little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age.
==========
THINK ABOUT IT
--from The Times of India

Thoughts are things. You have probably heard this idea at one time or
another. You have probably nodded your head in agreement understanding
that thoughts are in fact, things. You probably believe this and accept
that your thoughts, being things, do in fact have power.

Have you really thought about this? Do you apply this to your
day-to-day life? Hopefully you do, because your every thought and word is
contributing to your life experience.

For openers, your thoughts produce your emotions, which, in turn,
result in how you feel about a particular event occurring in your life.

It has always amazed me how people can walk around feeling a particular
way and not understand that it is their own thoughts, or more
accurately what they are telling themselves that is producing the feeling in the
first place.

This is why two people can look at the exact same event and have
opposite feelings about it. You are creating your own reality, moment by
moment, with the thoughts you choose to think and what you say, both to
yourself and others. Let us explore this a little further.

Most people will agree, and science can demonstrate, that everything in
our world is a field of energy and therefore has a particular
frequency. The chair you are sitting on, your car, your cat, dog, you and
everything else including thoughts, have a field of energy or vibration.

Recent scientific work has identified particular ranges of frequencies
and scientists are able to measure them. Interestingly enough, negative
energies, like anger and rage, measure very low on the scale, while
positive energies like those given off by prayer and meditation reach the
highest measurements.

At this point you may be wondering what this has to do with your
thoughts. Bear with me and I promise to connect the dots. The second part of
this equation is the universal law that states "like attracts like".

This has been referred to as the law of attraction, law of similar and
other names. What we choose to call it is not terribly important, what
is important to understanding the part this plays in our lives.

Let us supposing for a moment you are in a bad mood. You are feeling
pretty negative. At that particular moment in time your personal
vibration, the energy of your thoughts and words is in the lower frequencies.
Let us call this particular mood, "Frequency X."

Now somewhere off in the distant universe, there is another negative
experience. Maybe it is a flat tire, whose frequency happens to be X as
well. By virtue the law of attraction, you will begin attracting that or
some other undesirable experience to you.

There are no accidents. The universe works on a specific set of
principles that do not waver. Like attracts like, whether we believe it or
not. The good news is that the opposite is also true.

If, for example, you are feeling great, having invested time sitting
and reading your goals and taking care to monitor your thoughts,
intentions, and your internal and external dialogue, you are now entering a
high energy vibration and are in a place to attract other high vibrations,
generally things that you want to have, into your life.

I am not asking you to accept this blindly, only that you begin to
observe the world around you and see if this holds true for you. I am sure
you have noticed situations when, in a room full of people, one person
seems to be the centre of attention.

Why do you suppose this is? I will give you a hint, that is it is
probably not her perfume. Similarly, you probably know people who are always
having undesirable experiences in their lives. These are the people who
have a lousy time in even the best restaurant.

They seem to travel with dark clouds over them and always experience
things going wrong in their everyday lives. If you observe andlisten to
them closely, you will begin to see the connection between what they
think and say and what shows up in their lives.

Your exercise for the next few days is to closely monitor your every
thought and word. When you catch yourself dwelling in the negative, do
something to interrupt your pattern and substitute a positive thought in
its place.

It has been said that any thought consistently held for about 15
seconds will attract similar energy. This is one of the reasons you want to
read your life's vision and goals daily. This will hold your attention
on thoughts of that which you want and help you bring it towards you.
==========
TICKLE ME ELMO

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo
toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is
hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day
promptly at 8:00 AM.

The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's
door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new
employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is
backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.

The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2
men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so
backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor
and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands
Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush
red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The 2 men watch in
amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and
begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of
hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena. "I'm sorry," he
says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you
misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday."

"Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."
==========
THANKs for YOUR TIME

It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls,
career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear
across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy
life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to
spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing
could stop him.

Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr. Belser died last night. The
funeral is Wednesday." Memories flashed through his mind like an old
newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.

"Jack, did you hear me?"

"Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought of
him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said.

"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were
doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his side of
the fence' as he put it," Mom told him.

"I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said.

"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr Belser stepped in to make
sure you had a man's influence in your life," she said

"He's the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this
business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me
things he thought were important. Mom, I'll be there for the funeral," Jack
said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his
hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no
children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away. The night
before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old
house next door one more time. Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for
a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap
through space and time The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step
held memories Every picture, every piece of furniture. Jack stopped
suddenly.

"What's wrong, Jack?" his Mom asked.

"The box is gone," he said

"What box?" Mom asked.

"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I
must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell
me was 'the thing I value most,'" Jack said. It was gone. Everything
about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box.
He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.

"Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said. "I better
get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."

It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died. Returning home from
work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. "Signature required
on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office
within the next three days," the note read.

Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old
and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting
was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. "Mr.
Harold Belser" it read. Jack took the box out to his car and ripped
open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's
hands shook as he read the note inside.

"Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack
Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my life." A small key was taped to
the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully
unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch.
Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he
unlatched the cover. Inside he found these words engraved:

"Jack, Thanks for your time! -Harold Belser."

"The thing he valued most was my time"

Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and
cleared his appointments for the next two days.

"Why?" Janet, his assistant asked.

"I need some time to spend with my son," he said.

"Oh, by the way, Janet, thanks for your time!"